True Beat Generation: In The Beginning There Was Vaseline -- And It Was, And Still Is, Good

Monday, September 17, 2007

In The Beginning There Was Vaseline -- And It Was, And Still Is, Good

Lube-olution, Part I in a 52 week series exploring the evolution of lubricants, sponsored in part by OPEC, Crisco, but not even remotely by the Annenberg Foundation

Screw KY. The hell with Astroglide. Fuck Lubriderm. Seriously, what the hell ever happened to good old Vaseline? Was it truly not good enough? For my money, it's still the fire of the lubrication world-- Impossible to improve upon, and as just as indispensable as the day it was created.

Am I crazy? The only 30-something still nostalgic for the blue-collar goo of the gods?

1 comment:

M. Alice said...: A bit messy to clean up, though...; September 20, 2007 at 7:02 PM

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Mission Statement

TRUE BEAT GENERATION: MEMORIALIZING THOSE DAYS, BEFORE THE INTERNET, IN WHICH BEATING OFF WAS A THRICE-DAILY STRUGGLE.

Every generation is defined by the daunting challenge it faces, be it the Great Depression, the Second World War, or the Civil Rights Struggle. Our crucible has been the World Wide Web, which has transformed the way we connect, communicate, and even think. But by far the biggest revolution the Internet has created – the most defining, and yet oddly, the least discussed – is the way it has changed how we toss one off, pat our Robertson, or choke our Kojak. This web site intends to change that.

We live in an era in which the laptop is one giant beat box. With the advent of the Internet and a computer in every room, any teenager with half a hand and a full bottle of lube can make love to his or herself to their heart's content. Our children and our children’s children will never know the heroic teenage struggle to touch ourselves that we endured, nor the heroic sacrifices we made to procure the critical materials we so badly needed to fire up our adolescent imaginations. Contraband Playboy’s and Victoria Secret catalogues that were passed around high schools like sacred icons or a pair of Levis in 1970’s Moscow. This website is dedicated to recording and celebrating stories from those days in delicious detail. Please join us.

Monday, September 17, 2007

In The Beginning There Was Vaseline -- And It Was, And Still Is, Good

1 comment:

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