Saturday, August 18, 2007

Lesser of Two Evils

Horatio writes: This one was told to us by a dear friend in San Francisco. Porn as the ultimate decoy.

And they say lightning does not strike twice. It did for me. I discovered the dual charms of masturbation and pot at pretty much the same time. The true Californian experience of self -pleasure and self-enlightenment. The two quickly filled my life, emotionally, spiritually and physically. They also played off each other in the most practical of ways. This web site is no doubt being inundated with postings from those forced to hide their porn mag stash in the most James Bond-esque of ways... false bottomed trunks, fake floorboards, Hollowed out tree stumps etc. I kept mine in the boys bedroom equivalent of the plain light of day -- at the very top of the drawer in my bed side table. Right there -- three copies of Penthouse Letters and half of a OUI magazine. Brazenly placed in the very first place my Mom would look when she was hunting around my bedroom under the premise of "tidying up" while I was in class. "What on earth was I thinking?" I hear you ask. Fear not dear reader. I knew that the lurid magazines with the covers of women grinding in ecstasy would be guaranteed to make my mother recoil and slam the drawer shut in horror, thus failing to find my stash of pot which lay quietly just underneath. Young readers out there, read and learn. This porn mag switch and bait worked for me for seven years.

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