A Little Something For the Weekend, Sir? Geraldine Ferraro
Horatio writes: As regular readers know, we are intensely political creatures here at True Beat Generation and this week's mano-mano between Obama and Clinton has gotten our juices flowing. Don't get us wrong. Our senses are not titillated because the future of our country is at stake. We could care less. Rather, watching Hillary, a monster for sure, makes us long for those all-too-brief summer days in 1984 when Geraldine Ferraro filled our screens as the decrepit Walter Mondale's eye candy/running mate. Political scientists have long agonized over what made Ferraro the VP choice, plucked from the obscurity of congress. Perhaps it was just that she matched up well when physically juxtaposed to Barbara Bush. But we think it was something more than that. This was a politician we believed in. Because she was one hot little vixen. Blond. Pert. Foxy. A vision in white whilst declaring her candidacy. Geraldine was eerily in touch with her core electoral base. When she came out with the line addressing the "children of America" at 27 seconds, it was as if she was omniscient. Giving all of us fourteen year-olds who were at home watching the speech in our suburban basements with our pants around our ankles a knowing shout-out.
Before the Internet, before streaming video, before Astroglide, there was only us. And our hands. These are the heroic tales of a struggle for self-pleasure in an analog world. A world of pesky siblings, spotty cable reception, and dog-eared Victoria's Secret catalogues.
TRUE BEAT GENERATION: MEMORIALIZING THOSE DAYS, BEFORE THE INTERNET, IN WHICH BEATING OFF WAS A THRICE-DAILY STRUGGLE.
Every generation is defined by the daunting challenge it faces, be it the Great Depression, the Second World War, or the Civil Rights Struggle. Our crucible has been the World Wide Web, which has transformed the way we connect, communicate, and even think. But by far the biggest revolution the Internet has created – the most defining, and yet oddly, the least discussed – is the way it has changed how we toss one off, pat our Robertson, or choke our Kojak. This web site intends to change that.
We live in an era in which the laptop is one giant beat box. With the advent of the Internet and a computer in every room, any teenager with half a hand and a full bottle of lube can make love to his or herself to their heart's content. Our children and our children’s children will never know the heroic teenage struggle to touch ourselves that we endured, nor the heroic sacrifices we made to procure the critical materials we so badly needed to fire up our adolescent imaginations. Contraband Playboy’s and Victoria Secret catalogues that were passed around high schools like sacred icons or a pair of Levis in 1970’s Moscow. This website is dedicated to recording and celebrating stories from those days in delicious detail. Please join us.
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