And The Award for Best Wank Goes To...

Odd, isn't it? From best actor to best cinematography, last week's lengthy (tedious?) Academy Awards ceremony honored the best of film. Or did it?

From 1972 to the present, we at TBG have compiled a list of some of the most overlooked movies and snubbed scenes in the history of cinema (thanks to About.com). What follows is by no means exhaustive, but only serves to illuminate the dark fringes of cinema that we hope The Academy will one day deem worthy of its highest recognition.

Last Tango in Paris (1972)

Masturbation is just one of the many sexual places Maria Schneider and Marlon Brando visit in this classic buttery film.

Amarcord (1973)

The sexual frustrations of boyhood are played out humorously in a group masturbation scene where the boys shout out the names of their desired fantasy girlfriends.

Being There (1979)

Apparently many actors refused the role played so brilliantly by Shirley Maclaine because of this lengthy and sincere masturbation scene.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

It’s impossible not to cringe with some recognition during the pirate costume, Phoebe Cates inspired and ended bathroom masturbation scene.

The Right Stuff (1983)

From a reader: Two astronauts are required to provide semen samples to a very stuffy nurse, and masturbate while singing patriotically.

Matador (1986)

The opening scene uses unexpected masturbation to set the tone of the entire film about sex and death.

Leolo (1992)

A boyhood masturbation scene involving liver (and a less successful one involving chicken) won’t be crowd pleasers among vegetarians or vegans.

Single White Female (1992)

An intentionally creepy scene where the SWF is getting off and “interrupted” by her unwitting and disturbed victim to be.

Spanking the Monkey (1994)

In some ways a movie all about masturbation (and other things) and the frustration a lack of privacy (both physical and psychological) can create.

Pleasantville (1998)

This beautiful masturbation scene should be required viewing for anyone who wonders about the power of sex.

The Slums of Beverly Hills (1998)

Natasha Lyonne (the only actor who is in two movies on this list) tries out her cousin’s vibrator.

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

Ben Stiller’s masturbation scene is a perfect example of how far you can go in a movie if you just don’t talk about what’s really on people’s minds (or in their hair).

American Pie (1999)

Probably the most frequently referenced modern teen movie about four guys trying to lose their virginity, featuring a masturbation scene with apple pie, the eponymous dessert of the film.

But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)

They had to cut a masturbation scene to get an R rating, but what’s left in is still brilliant and the film overall is great.

Coming Soon (1999)

A surprisingly realistic performance of hot tub masturbation in this teen comedy about sex from a young women’s perspective.

American Beauty (1999)

Another frequently spoofed fantasy/masturbation scene complete with cheerleading, rose petals, and a very hot shower.

Mulholland Drive (2001)

Does anyone do spooky, disturbing, confusing and sexy like David Lynch? Naomi Watts masturbation scene is only one of the many real and implied sexual hot points in this film.

Auto-Focus (2002)

Greg Kinnear (playing Bob Crane of Hogan’s Heroes “fame”) and Willem Dafoe totally commit to this masturbation scene.

Secretary (2002)

If there were an Academy Award for best masturbation portrayal, Maggie Gyllenhaal deserves a lifetime achievement statute for her masturbatory turn in a bathroom stall.

40 Year Old Virgin (2005)

Masturbation the way Betty Dodson recommends, complete with mood music, candle light, and laughs.

Nine Songs (2005)

From a reader: Both male and female masturbation, and authentic. This was the first explicitly sexual movie to be approved for showing in Ireland, for some reason... The music is the best part!

Babel (2006)

A brief masturbation scene featuring a young Moroccan boy who had been spying on his sister.