Washington Monumental

With the mind of an elephant and the firm grasp of its tusk, Arturo B. of Los Angeles never forgot his first trip to D.C. or his first tug. He writes:

In 4th grade we took a field trip to D.C. all the way from Texas. I'd never been out of the state, much less to such a "cosmopolitan" city. Our class did the usual round of sightseeing, but it was a particular stop at the Washington Monument that I'll never forget. As the rest of my prepubescent pals stared up at the long white shaft, it was there in the grass that I found a dog-eared and soggy copy of Jugs. My feet reacted before my brain and I soon found myself racing towards the nearest public restroom. For the next hour I examined, studied, and contemplated every square inch of that magazine. My teachers, meanwhile, had put out an APB on my horny ass and when I was finally found they threatened to lock me in my hotel room for the rest of the trip. Which would have been just fine by me!