Monday, October 8, 2007

Aqua Man

Art Dvorak of Lansing, Michigan writes:

My younger brother's showers were legendary. From the time he hit middle school until he left for college, no one took longer showers than he. Not to mention his frequency. Sometimes showering four times a day, he spent a good portion of his youth under the hose.

It wasn't until college that I figured out what was going on. Chalk it up to incredible naivety, but I just didn't put the two together. No stranger to touching myself, I preferred the privacy of my own room and a clean tissue. For whatever reason, the aqua beat never crossed my mind. Even more perplexing is why my parents never spoke up. Surely they must have realized their son was wanking away in there costing both them and the good tax payers of Lansing hundreds of extra dollars in municipal water charges.

My brother, now 35, denies these allegations. He contends the combination of mild eczema and a dry Michigan clime necessitated he moisturize in such a fashion.

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