A Little something for the weekend, sir? Jamie Lee Curtis

The TBG must confess, we're in love with the JLC. This is in fact the second post devoted to her, though first with video. In addition to being one of the better and most quoted movies of our youth, "Trading Places" was kind enough to feature two budding young starlets in the peak of their prime. And if all of Jamie Lee's splendor above the waist wasn't titillating enough, there was always the fascinating speculation of what lay below.

Washington Monumental

With the mind of an elephant and the firm grasp of its tusk, Arturo B. of Los Angeles never forgot his first trip to D.C. or his first tug. He writes:

In 4th grade we took a field trip to D.C. all the way from Texas. I'd never been out of the state, much less to such a "cosmopolitan" city. Our class did the usual round of sightseeing, but it was a particular stop at the Washington Monument that I'll never forget. As the rest of my prepubescent pals stared up at the long white shaft, it was there in the grass that I found a dog-eared and soggy copy of Jugs. My feet reacted before my brain and I soon found myself racing towards the nearest public restroom. For the next hour I examined, studied, and contemplated every square inch of that magazine. My teachers, meanwhile, had put out an APB on my horny ass and when I was finally found they threatened to lock me in my hotel room for the rest of the trip. Which would have been just fine by me!

A Little Something For the Weekend, Sir?... Kristy McNichol

That mischievous smile, those winning dimples, that perfectly feathered hair... Alas, diagnosed with bi-polar disorder in 1992 young Kristy's career was cut short. As were the self-love sessions of thousands of disappointed teenage boys across the country. We miss you, Kristy, hope you're getting the help you need, and pray that scientists will one day create a time machine and send you back to 1980 so you can do a nude scene.

A little something for the weekend, sir? Jo or Blair?

For those of you who thought the ultimate battle of the 70's was Steelers Vs. Cowboys, think again. The hit TV show The Facts of Life graciously gave us Jo (Nancy McKeon) and Blair (Lisa Whelchel), two polar opposite young ingenues that truly represented the most important confrontation of our adolescent lives. Who to make love to first? As the following video illustrates, it truly was a toss up.

They Don't Call Them "Finger" Lakes for Nothing...

Thanks to John for reminding us of this naughty young Pawnee princess. In these recession conscious times, you've also given us reason to reconsider butter as a very economical and accessible lubricant.

Stumbled across your site when I Googled "Sears catalogue"! Wow, you've nailed life as a horny kid in the 70's!

I did not see the infamous do-it-yourself porn kit for every enterprising kid with a box of butter in the fridge. The LOL nymph could be carried in your pocket or wallet, and was good for hours of dreaming of being Chief Boob Inspector of your own Indian maiden tribe.

Just cut out the box of butter on one side, remove the maiden's knees on the other, and tape together for this delightful result.

John
Austin, Texas

Lump In The Levis

Huge thanks to Phil G. for sending in not one, but two stories in the span of a week! He writes:

This cautionary tale took place the summer between fifth and sixth grade (again in Bedford, MA). My friends Tom Mulligan, Mike Lehan, Kevin Hartwell and I were upstairs in the bedroom of a fourth friend, Mike McGrath, looking at his older brother's stash of Playboys. I had never seen one before, and was enjoying it immensely. We were all minding our business, gaping silently, when Mike Lehan, totally out of the blue, calls out "Phil has a boner!" He had no way of knowing this, as the magazine in my lap covered everything up. However, I knew two things: 1) I definitely had a boner and 2) there was no way I was going to admit it. So right away I said "I do not!" knowing that when compelled to remove the magazine, if I was lucky, it would be hidden. "Do too!" Lehan screamed. Not wanting to prolong the inevitable, I pulled the Playboy away, revealing an undeniable pup tent to the right of my zipper. They all laughed their asses off and I did my best to forget about until later that evening, when I'm standing at the plate during our little league game. From third base, Mike McGrath yells "LUMP IN THE LEVI'S!" Everyone who'd already heard about the incident cracked up and everyone who hadn't soon heard about it. It was a long summer.

We are All Cancer Free

Horatio writes: No less an authority than the BBC have revealed that what we have always known is true. What does not kill you makes you stronger.